Sit at the Table

In my last post, I wrote about how the least unusual event sets off my panic button.A few days ago, I got to witness how this button looked on someone else the moment it went off.One of my girlfriends had just turned twenty five and she threw a party at her home. Now I've never been the kind to leave my bed for a social gathering with loud music and unfamiliar faces but it seemed like the easiest way to make up for all these years of my bad record as "the friend who never shows up at the party but still gets a piece of the cake the day after."It was at this sweet party that I saw the big anxiety bell go off on my friend.People were not showing up. People she'd invited over the week, who had confirmed they would be present to celebrate her day with her were no where to be found.And just like I would have done in her shoes, my friend, the queen of the party, kept pacing, checking the time, and talking on the phone, asking if they were coming, how close are they? How soon could they get here? Do they know the party was supposed to start at four? And that they should get here, as fast as they could.And the whole time I sat with seven other girls, all close friends from school, shifting awkwardly in our seats across a round table because the party could only begin if the people on the phone finally showed up at the door. The music will only be started when they got here.Because maybe they are the lives of the party. Maybe they bring the dancing to the floor and get the ladies on their feet.But still- just because they don't show up doesn't mean we put everything on hold, paused. A moment of nothingness where there could have been something.I'll probably never get tired of quoting Hannah Brencher. My kids will grow up reciting Bible verses and lines from her books. Hannah says it best:"Be where your feet are."There's no running off into a time you know nothing off. A time where they finally show up at the door, or don't. A time where the party gets a little merrier, or doesn't . This is what we have now, today and it's what we can work with. Tomorrow may be better but we are only able to taste the sweetness of here and right now.Give yourself today.Your cake is melting and you're crying over all the people who are not around to cut it with you. Blow out your candles, celebrate yourself. Eat it up and lick blue icing and dreams off your fingers.Waiting by the door does not bring them any closer than they already are. They'll come if they have to, they'll come if they want to.But first, bring yourself to the table. Have the courage to sit and dine with the people who have made it to you. The absence of one team doesn't disqualify the presence of the other team.They win for choosing you. They win for showing up. Kindly pass the bread and love around to the people who put you first.