Clearing the Clutter: Learning to Say "No"
I cannot think of a moment when I’m not putting the needs of others before mine. Sometimes there’s barely a moment to take things in or weigh options to see which is more favorable. Half the time, I’m running off performing a task of equal significance as what I might be doing at that very moment.There’s not a questionable doubt about the stance of doing good. It’s one of those few things that cannot be painted black- regardless of the circumstance. Doing good is a good thing. It’s as simple as that. But there’s just one little thing that almost takes the goodness out of this habit.I’ve heard quite a number of folks call this disease 'people-pleasing.’ If I should call this by its name, I’d say fear. Fear of what we might be missing, what we lose if we let this opportunity slip by, how we make the other party feel by turning them down, and all the other mini-combats that take place in our minds before we make a decision. But what if we say "no"? What if we decide to stay planted where we are, focus on what we have our hands dug inside? What if we could say no to things and that wouldn’t be the worst thing to ever happen?Here are three good reasons why saying "no" isn’t as bad as the world makes it seem:
YOU GET TO SAY "YES" TO OTHER THINGS
When we forgo a particular course of action, the consequences are quite clear. There’s just no other way this story ends. Saying no certainly means we get the chance to say yes to other things. We have the opportunity to set our priorities straight and tackle demanding tasks first. We save ourselves the trouble of postponing duties by simply choosing them over others. Half the time, the things we agree to do require that we put our own activities on hold and finish before we can get back to it.Saying "no" is crucial because it guides us from choosing and engaging in activities that have nothing to do with the goals we've set for ourselves. Saying "no" keeps us within budget, keeps our minds focused on the target, keeps us on track and takes us closer and closer to the finish line.
ADEQUATE TIME & RESOURCES ARE INVESTED
We have limits to our time, energy and interests. Sometimes what we fail to realize about mediocrity is that it stems from having too much on our plates. In the end, all we do is taste bits and bits of what is served, losing the true satisfaction of feasting on a whole meal.It is time to clear the clutter. It is time to fill our mouths with only what we can eat at a time. We will not overwhelm ourselves and choke in the process. We will take our time, bite after bite, task after task.I’ve never been the kind so good at multi-tasking. If I turn my back to do the dishes, I forget to stir and the stew begins to burn- right behind me.The truth about multi-tasking is that everyone else sees how much you accomplish within a short period of time rather than how much of what has been accomplished is actually great. How much of it is good enough and not just fine? Knowing how much workload can be handled at a time is a good start and yes, it is absolutely possible to challenge ourselves while avoiding minor risks that have the potential to affect the success of the entire project.
SETS YOU FREE
To quote the brilliant poet, Nayyirah Waheed, “No" might make them angry but it will set you free.” Free to prioritize and invest your time in things you actually want to do. Free to approach projects with zeal and willingness without any form of resentment afterwards. Free to carry a load of work that doesn’t break you but rather, pushes you to bring your best on board.There’s nothing more discouraging than an overflowing calendar left unattended to. You go round and round busying yourself with other activities and you still return, exhausted and frustrated- to a pile of unfinished work.We should say no because it is a necessary part of survival. We cannot be there for everyone. We cannot fix all the loose ends. We cannot always make things right. It is a choice we make to choose other things, a path we take to arrive at a destination we’ve been looking forward to. "No" too, can be growth. It can be change (as hard as it is to believe). It can be a spring board to greatness only if we’ll believe and go for it.