When I was asked my biggest lesson in 2017 as a writer, these were my exact words:

Consistency is everything. Writing is a commitment. You put a ring on it and you go all the way. Every single day. When you feel like it, when you don't. When your typewriter's broken down, when the pages in your journal are all done. When your heart is tired and your mind is seemingly blank. Inspiration isn't something you fold your arms and wait for. It is something you invite. So start writing.

I started this little blog at the end of a tired October two years ago. I remember talking to one of my good friends Jeffy, about wanting to create one and how I was afraid I wouldn't be able to go all the way. I was scared I'd get tired on the eighth post and I'll become one of the million other people who lay a foundation on this little part of the Internet and never get to putting a roof over the house because they just could not bring themselves to finish building.

I am not a finisher. I like the start of a fire, the small joys at the beginning of things. When the food runs out, I don't wait and dance- I leave the party way too early. I'm the girl who walks out of a love story because I got tired of writing it (and also because fighting for things that do not want to stay is a hard hard thing). You'd think starting a story is the hardest part until you're six chapters in and writing one more word feels like dragging your feet in the mud. 

On January 7th, I typed these words on my Instagram :

I want 2017 to be one of those years you painfully invest so much in something that in the end, the results of your hard work blow your own mind away. I want to feel more than I've ever felt, live more than I've ever lived and most importantly, write it all down in good sentences. I don't know how far I'm willing to stretch myself but of this I am sure: that I shall not bury my words anymore.

Little did I know that this was a fight I wasn't prepared for, that I was going to wake up some days and not feel at all like putting words down on a page. I had no idea that a stranger would walk up to me and throw this question in my face "why do you write?" and I was going to fumble for the right words to express the very thing I believe in.

Little did I know that victory was a silent song we sung in the middle of the battle and we were halfway to finding our voices and teaching our feet how to dance.

This year, I've written more words than I can count. I know I am no where near getting this writing thing right- this is merely the first step of a billion more steps I'll take. But today of all days, I am thankful for writers who never stop. Writers who do not fix red lights on the first chapter or the draft or the best seller that blew the world away.

Because here's the truth: You must be willing to go all the way. Writing is not a necklace you put around your neck when you're feeling a little fancy. It's not a hobby we pick up when we're bored. It's the whole deal and you put a ring on it. You wake up every morning with the vow on you lips- for better, for worse. You sit down at your desk and you write. You roll up your sleeves and get to work. Do not wait to be inspired. Do not wait to be inspired. A bird flying past your window might stir up a poem and that's fine. But do not wait for winged creatures or the sound of rain. Just write. It takes time and sweet old steadfastness. It takes the commitment to approach your craft, each and every day - a fierce dedication that knows no end

And like all the many stories of life, we may fall. Our manuscripts may not make it past the door. We may never read our poems out loud on a stage or have a middle spread review of our works. But we would have written our hearts out the best way we knew how to. And nothing screams victory better than a survivor who knows he fought a good fight.